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use to assign meanings to events. They are:
Nothing, everything and never.
For example, let’s say your relationship with your spouse breaks down. Here’s how using the above words can trigger stress, depression or anxiety:
“Well that’s it. EVERYTHING has gone wrong in my life. I’m NOTHING without him/her and I know I’ll NEVER be happy ever again.
”Can you see how flawed this highly emotive reaction is and can you see how these words – seemingly innocuous by themselves – have made one event a major, stressful episode by assigning a catastrophic meaning to your whole life?To avoid arousing such fearful emotions, here are three better, much less emotive words you can use to lower the intensity:
For everything, use ONLY. For Never, use TEMPORARY. For nothing, use SOME.
So let’s use these words to find a less intense meaning to the event in our example, the breakdown of an intimate relationship:
“OK, my relationship is over, but it ONLY affects my love life. SOME things will change but other areas of my life – my work, my friendships, my hobbies and my social life will carry on as normally as possible. I’m hurting now, but this is TEMPORARY and things will get better in due course.
”Can you see how
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